En Garde

by ablue

Sometimes I forget that corn syrup can be anywhere. Last week my boyfriend O and I went to bar with some of O’s coworkers. We were having a good time and I didn’t plan on drinking anything so I ordered a water. Silly me didn’t watch the waitress while she made the drink, or say anything to her about what to leave out, so I was suddenly facing a glass of allergens. First the lime, but that’s easy to take out. So I sipped through the straw and as soon as I tasted the water I knew I couldn’t drink it. It had a myriad of flavors and most importantly it was so sweet there must have been corn sweeteners. I asked the bartender if I could please have another glass with nothing but water, because I have food allergies. She glared at me – although, to be fair, she was hung over – and got another glass of water. This time I watched. The water was coming out of a fixture that had 12 buttons for soft drinks and was attached to a hose. So the taste was ‘trace elements’ of all the sodas that go through the soda system. After that I ordered a Newcastle.